This is the 200th iced drink I've downed on the streets of Saigon since 2001. It's Cafe sua da - coffee, sweetened milk, ice. I found it on Thai Van Lung Street in District 1 and it set me back 4,000VD, or around 25 cents.
In 2001 I began cataloguing my street ice intake, anorak fashion. The aim - to provide the first ever scientific proof that every health and hygiene advisory published in a Vietnam guidebook since 2001 was plain barking, cuckoo, woo wah, woo wah.
Freaking folk out over frozen tipples would at last be a thing of the past and Vietnam's ice capitalists could bury their bad rep. and concentrate on cooling palates without foreign media muddying everyone's pants with paranoid poop.
Well, the results are in.
Contrary to popular belief, it appears street ice is actually rather good for you. 0.05% of post-ice movements "noticeably veered from the norm". No shit.
This important first study of its kind concludes; the all important "ice to loose movements" ratio is negligible at worst, positively non-existent at best. And if you don't believe me, I have a double quilted, aloe vera scented spreadsheet smeared with 4 years worth of data which you're welcome to unroll and analyse at your leisure.